Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Top Reasons Being Laid Off is Good


Every cloud as a silver lining, right? Here we go.

Number 10: You save water by not showering every day.
Number 9: No annoying co-workers to deal with.
Number 8: Freelance jobs offer the opportunity to work in underwear.
Number 7: One word: Oprah.
Number 6: Safe to go outside now that Bush is out of office.
Number 5: Staring contests with the cat.
Number 4: Nap time, baby!
Number 3: More time to do wife's bidding. (Hey, who hacked into my blog?!?!)
Number 2: Surfing the Internet without getting hassled by The Man.

and the Number 1 reason why being laid off is good: It's fun to be a part of such a large group.



5 comments:

David Terrenoire said...

Admit it.

You miss the weirdness, the electric angst, the illogic and madness, the paranoia, the group fistfuck meetings, the shifting alliances, the Sisyphean chores day after stinking day, the synapse sizzling WTF moments when a job comes back the 13th and then a 14th and then a 15th time, the misdirection, redirection and no direction, the fragile egos compensating for the swirlies they endured in high school and the complete, mind-blowing, monkey fuck ass-pucker that is your former job.

C'mon, admit it.

Anonymous said...

Um, no. Long day at the office, dear?

Anonymous said...

Holy shit. I think David just channelled some amalgum of Clark W. Griswald in "Christmas Vacation" and the Dude Lebowski. Tremendous!

David Terrenoire said...

Hey,

You have all damn day. Update the blog, you slacker.

David Terrenoire said...

Dude,

What are you doing? Sleeping all day? I come by here for regularly updated content. Let's get to it.